我想說的是...

英文班裡
我跟其他人哪談的來.....
我跟你才最談的來好嗎...
昨天真的很累
不過我絕對不可能回絕你的關心
我想關心妳
但是怕你會拒絕
我不想要只有妳關心我而已
我也想要關心妳

我這麼累還去英文課也只是想要看到妳而已...
我看到你暫英文課裡可以很開心的說英文
很投入的上英文課
我才覺得不會這麼累了

這就是我想說的啊~
知道嗎~~

幾近絕望~好痛~

每次當我很想衝出口說"我喜歡妳"的時候

總覺得妳的心早就不知道飛到哪裡去了

不知道是不是第六感..還是只是直覺而已

總覺得我根本是一點機會也沒有

唉...很難過是真的

還是繼續做吧

冀望妳有一天可以釋懷~

心被撕裂的感覺

跟快窒息的感覺

完全沒兩樣~

很痛.....

我很幼稚嗎~我很小孩子嗎?

我真的是這樣嗎?

人都有兩個自己、兩個面向
我不習慣把每件事都看得很認真、很嚴肅
以前親戚常常說我忠厚老實、很聽話
老實說我根本不喜歡這些形容詞...即使這是正面的形容詞也是一樣

就是因為這樣我才會想表現的放蕩一點、無所謂一點
其實我很在意很多事情
但是我想要隨性一點
看開一點
所以表現的任性一點
這可能就是我的第一面吧

即使我再怎麼難過再怎麼痛苦也不會把她表現在外表
我不想讓關心我的人、喜歡我的人、或是我喜歡的人隨著我的心情起伏...
更不希望讓他們因為我的低潮而跟著心情不好

我知道妳們想關心我..想分擔我的負擔
但是我看妳這樣我會很不捨...討厭的是我再怎麼不捨好像也說不出口
這就是處女座不好的地方吧~

即使只有我自己一個人難過我也不想把負面情緒帶給妳
也許是我自作多情吧..自以為會有人關心我><

但是我確實是希望有個人可以跟我一起分享一切
不然我只是獨自一個人慢慢消化自己所以的悲傷和難過
雖然還是有辦法解決一切
可是這樣好辛苦
好無助

我並不是不夠懂事
也不是不夠堅強
再怎麼堅強的人也是需要有人可以共勉
也是需要有人可以分享
我不在乎妳幫我分擔多少
即使妳幫我分擔的是零也無所謂
但是我可以幫妳分擔一百

縱使自己很多重擔
但是我願意幫妳分擔那百分之一百
我情願擁有這種甜蜜的負擔而不去管自己的煩惱
也不要一個人獨自消化自己的重擔而不能幫忙妳解憂、讓妳快樂

以前說過感情一切隨緣
那是我對自己沒信心
現在我希望我還來的及
付出我的關心、付出我的體貼、讓妳身邊總有個人陪
不知道來得及嗎?
不知道有機會嗎?
不知道妳聽到了嗎?

真的不想要這麼多不確定.....

高興過後必失落

心情不可能一直很好
每次高興過後隨之而來的必定是失落、感傷
這種情緒已經有點久了
我已經厭倦了
但是揮之不去
趕都趕不走

或許是負面情緒太多了吧
多到已經溢了出來
已經把我的樂觀淹沒了過去

對某方面的自己沒有信心
或許是感情方面吧
不想再去談之前得那一段
也沒有什麼好談的了
人要往前看不是嗎?
但是也不是每個人都可以這麼做.....因為這並不簡單
為什麼一說到感情我整顆心就感覺老了好幾歲
所謂的老了好幾歲不是無力了
而是嚴肅認真起來

希望我可以永遠往前看
過去可以緬懷
但是不可以回去
更不可以任憑整顆心飛了回去

希望我愛的人也會是如此~

可以嗎?

有些情緒在漫延~
停止不住的愛戀~
明知道不可能擁有~
卻又禁不住的往前衝~

friends

actually, i have many friends around me...
but....there are only several genuine friends that will be with me when i need friends

finally i understand that it's common for us because it's not so easy to keep in touch with such many friends under this high pressure and a little indifferent society.......

i have to accommodate my self to the unchangeable fact~

just be happy^^

想念

偷偷在這裡說一下
一天沒看到那個人會一直想念~
沒有原因的想念~
就醬

basic information

the following are some of my personal information

the reason why i post this information is that some of my friends ask me to do it to let them know how to connnect with me, especially the friends from other countries!!
------------------------------------------------------
blog: http://google-hans.blogspot.com

albums: http://www.flickr.com/photos/pohan/sets

name on facebook: Hans Huang

msn: potato19868@hotmail.com

skype: pohan19868
------------------------------------------------------

missing someone suddenly~

these days, i don't know why i miss someone suddenly.

every time i feel bored or upset, i remind of her.

every time i am expressed, i miss her at all

please tell me why i still miss her after something...?

does it mean that i begin to like her or something.....

hope that i can find the answer~

busy busy and busy!

this semester, i became a sophormore in NTU.everything changed a lot around me!!
first of all, i became more and more active not only in study but in extracurricular activities. i think tht is because of the experience in
ALC this summer vacation!!

this semestr i joined a new club called"National Taiwan University International Student Information Service". the abbreviation is "NTUISIS"!
we help exchange students and formal foreign students in NTU, including their daily life and all sorts of problems in NTU even in Taiwan. so now i have two club! and also, the classes i chose are the following six parts:
1.electric circuit
2.numerical methods
3.fluid mechanics
4.engineering mathmatics
5.digital design
6.basic korean language......

although there are only six subjects, each classes requires heavy calculation and deeply thoughts. i've spent most of my time doing research on my since NTU started.
well, maybe this is a whole new challenge for me, i will do my best to keep balance between my free time and the study time!

cheer up, HANS!!!!!!

my journal about georgina @Stanford

this journal's topic:write about a person that you met in america

now i want to teel you about a woman-georgina. she is my host in ALC1 at Stanford University. her mother is from philippine. and her father is from scotland. she was born in new york. now she studies at Stanford. her major is middle east history.

the reason why i choose her not just because that she is my host;it is because that she always tell us many funny things such as her experience at stanford, her stupid things....etc. she is always full of energy and always smiles when she gets along with us. for example, two weeks ago on saturday, when we wnet to san francisco for a one-day tour, i didn't have a good mood for a while that time. georgina immediately recognized that i was in a bad mood. and she chatted with me, companied me, made me laugh... and so on. she was is always considerate that she is just like my older sister. i only have youngger sister so i don't know what the feeling it is when someone takes care of me like an older sister.

it is proved that even we come from different countries, as long as we cares about each other, we will still be good frineds. we can learn from host, my friend--Georgina!!

my first korean class today in NTU in my life!

compared with japanese words, the koreanwords is much easier to learn and memorize. but on the other side, the pronunciation in korean is one of the most difficult pronunciation in the world i think. haha!

it is too difficult for me to decribe how hard it is!!
but no matter how hard it is, i am still happyto learn such a mysterious language!! additionally, the good news is that i don't have to go to NCCU, the only one university that has korean language department in taiwan, to learn korean because the teacher in NCCU will come to NTU to teach us korean every week in the following days! it is so convenientfor me to learn!

fortunately, i have losts of korean and japanese friends now, so maybe they can be my online teachers if they are willing to do that!
after theone year korean and japanese learning, maybe it is possible for me to make up my mind to be a linguist!! it's sooooooooo funny!!

my first japanese class on monday in ntu in my life

this monday, i had my first japanese class in my life. many people may ask me why i want to choose a japanese class? the answer is that after the ALC program in Stanford, ive been more and more interested in learning different kinds of languages in the world. so i choose japanese and korean to learn. after my first japanese class, i was fascinated by japanese. japanese words are simplier than chinese words. i am so happy that i have the chance to learn japanese because if i learn it well, maybe i'll have the abilityto communicate with my dear japanese friends by using the simple sentence in japanese. i'm really looking for to use it! by the way, i fond that the most funniest guy in ALC- Abraham also choose the class. so now we are classmates!!haha!! it's coooool right?!!

Happy Birthday to drear Hans!

yesterday was my 21-year-old birthday
originally i supposed that there would be almost no one to say happy birthday to me, but i was wrong. i still have a lot of nice friends especially MY FRIENDS IN "ALC1"!!!!

So yesterday i received lots of message about best wishes for my birthday from my friends on msn messenger.
i was soooooo happy and surprised to get those message.

what's more, there are three people that i want to thank for

the first one is my best friends who now lived in canada
he sent a great present from canada to me. the distance is so far so when i received that present, i almost cried. no wonder he is my best friend in my life so far.

the second one is my korean friend in ALC--Nahee.
she sang a song-"Happy Birthday to You" to me on the SKYPE.
and she also sent a birthday card from korea to taiwan!
what a considerate action!

the last one is my high school's classmate--Gary
he accompanied with me yesterday and chatted with me a lot.
i can expressed my feelings when i talked to him
and he always listened to me when i am talking
so he is one of my best friends among the high school's classmate

anyway,although there was nothing speciall ways to celebrate my birthday, i thought yesterday was the most meaningful one that i've ever had for my birthday

thank you guys. i love all of you!!!!!!!!!!

6.Jun

Jun:
when i talk about Jun- the most charming guy among koreans, i am always have a good mood.
Jun always bring his friends joy and happyness when we are around him.
for me, he is just like my older brother.
although we lived in the different room at Stanford's international dormitory-FloMo, he still cared about me much when we met in the aisle of the second floor in Alondra.so i really envy Dave that he could be Jun's room mate. haha!!
maybe it is becuse that i like to chat with Jun. he often give me some great advice when i am in trouble. if i have chance in the future, i want to be Unseok and Jun's room mate.....but it seems strange when three mans live in the same room...= = hahaha!!
Anyway, i think i am sooooooo lucky to be Jun's friend. i also hope that this friendship will last forever!

5.Nahee

Nahee:
she is a really nice girl!
actually, the first few days at Stanford, i didn't talked with her that much. it seemed that we didn't have many chances to talk with.
we met not so often at the beginning of this program. maybe the reason is that her english is too good for me to have the bravery to talk with.

but after several days, we talked to each other more and more.
i found that she is a considerate and easy-going girl. and she had a good temper as well. i felt free and relax when i talked with her.
i am lucky that we were in the same host group-Georgina's group.
every time when we had a host group meeting, i always had a good mood at the same time.
i remembered that at the last day in america, when all taiwanese had to leave earlier than korean and japanese friends, we wnet to the SF international airport to take the flight back to Taiwan. and she was the one that talked to me more than others. at tht time i cried a lot. i couldn't control myself from crying. she consoled me a lot and help me take my luggage to the gate. since then, i knew that she is soooo considerate.

these days when i came back to Taiwan, we often chatted in the MSN messenger. and we also talked to each other in the SKYPE. it ws really funny and joyful for me to chatted with her. but for the chatting on MSN or SKYPE, maybe i couldn't get through the sadness soon. (actually i can't overcome the sadness for leaving ALC yet....= =!)

finally, i really hope that we will be good friends in the future.
if she doesn't mind, i am glad to keep in touch with her continually.

thank her a lot to be my friend!

4.Unseok

Unseok:
my dear room mate-Unseok!

he is my first room mate in my life because i always lived with my family before the ALC program.
i remembered that when i arrived at FloMo at the first day of Stanford life, Unseok helped me bring my luggage to our room-Alondra 300.
i was touched by his action. since then , i thought that he would be a very nice room mate at Stanford.
we had a really good time at Stanford University. actually i really want to be his room mate forever although his bed is always messy! haha!!!
his bed is the dirtiest one that i've ever seen! my god!!
i will keep this time that we live in Alondra 300 in my mind forever.

if i have a chance in the future, i want to be his room mate again!!

3.Erina

Erina:
Oh, my dear Erina! She is the most easy-going girl in ALC1 that I’ve ever seen. Actually I have a wrong conception that sometimes I think that the more beautiful one girl is, the more difficult to get along with. But I know I was wrong after I met Erina. She is also beautiful and kind to us. I didn’t know her a lot until one night he came to my room to find Unseok. We talked a lot about funny things. Since then, I know that we will become good friend in the future. I will not forget one sentence that she always said—“it ‘s sooooo cool !!” and “you are soooo funny, Hans!”. Actually I really don’t know that whether I’m funny or not. Finally I found that Erina is the one girl that I can easily talk about my feeling with in ALC1. I think this is the reason that I like to talk to Erina!

2.Chiaki

Chiaki:
Maybe the most intimate combination between Chiaki and me is the song ”my love”.
I still want to say thank you to Chiaki for being my accompanist in the talent show. Without her help, I would not do such a difficult talent show that night. She played very well that night and she her enchanting melody also covered some of my drawbacks for my voice. Moreover, I thought that it was a coincidence that I had many chances to get along with her in ALC1. We were in the same class, in the same host group, even in the same small discussion group in the class. So I knew her most in ALC1. There was no doubt that I liked her most among ALC1’s girls. I was so lucky to be her friend there. I will miss her in the future especially I hear the song “my love”. I promise that I will sing that song again to her when I visit Japan and find her.

1.Akiko

Akiko(the one stands right side inside the picture):
At the first few days in ALC1, my roommate, Unseok told me that he thought Akiko is the best girl in ALC1. At that time I couldn’t totally agree his opinion because I didn’t know her a lot that time. Things changed a lot. When I got along well with Akiko, I was fascinated by her witty characteristic and humor. I can’t forget the last night in Stanford University’s FloMo dorm. That night she and Erina invited me to join them watching Japanese horror movie. Erina, Akiko, Unseok and me sit in a long sofa and we got through an unforgettable movie night. I thought it was a wonderful experience because this was the first for me to see the horror movie. After the ALC1, Akiko is one of my good friends among Japanese. I really want to be her friend forever!

personal expressions toward certain ALC1 members

in the following articles, i will post my expressions
about certain people in ALC1-2007.

It will take me long time to finish it. so take it easy and

don't be anxious!!!!!

ALC1-2007@Stanford--summarization

in sum up, ALC1-2007@Stanford University is the best summer class that i've ever experienced in my life.

i think it is not an ending, it is just a beginning!

once we are the ALC1 students, we will become the ALC1 members forever.

as i said in the talent show, my love will be in ALC1 forever eventhough that i have already graduated from ALC1.

i really miss all the hosts,all staff in Stanford University, all japanese friends, all korean friends in ALC1 this year.

i hope w we will meet soon in the future.

I

Love

You

soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

much!!!

best wishes,
Hans 9/8/2007.

8/28-farewell banquet....soooooo sad!!

i can't believe that this is the last day that i live in america.
i really don't want to leave america!!!
i want to stay here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


but now i have to accept this sorrowful ending.....

today we leave yosemite for SF hotel to have a farewell banquet.

in the banquet, almost everyone cried together.

unavoidable, i cried soooooo much in the farewell banquet. i really don't want to leave all ALC1-2007 friends that time.

time flies.
i can't imagine that it is so fast for one month.

i will remember and miss all my friends in ALC1.

DON'T SAY "GOOD BYE"

we just leave for a while.

we will get together soon!!!!

8/26-Yosemite National Park trip

i have already been eager to visit yosemite for lonn time!

after the trip there, i am sure that it is the most wonderful trip that i've ever experienced in my life.

and i also overtook my limit to finish 95% Half Dome trip!
altough i was afraid of climbing to the yop of the Half Dome, i still admire my bravary to challenge myself.

i wish that i will challenge the Half Dome in the future.

8/24-Graduation Luncheon

oh, today is the final day at Stanford University!!!!

i am soooooooo sad that we will leave here tomorrow!

we had a final "Graduation Luncheon" today in downtown Palo Alto.

and the restaurant is one kind of a chinese restaurant.
in the restaurant, we talked all about our life in ALC1 at Stanford.

when we were accepting the certification, i cried a lot without reasons.
maybe at that time i was thinking about that we have no chance in the future to attend the class at Stanford University.

Maria Marin is my TD class teacher.
Andrea is my EC class teacher.

i love their class at Stanford.

and i really love the two teachers.
i will miss them after i come back to Taiwan.

8/23-my final oral presentation

this is the last day that i attended the class at Stanford University.

i was nervous today because this was the first time i did such a formal oral presentation in "English"!

my topic is "social welfare in america"

although my topic is more serious than others, i thought i still did a good job in the oral presentation.

beyond my expectation, i could spoke in english fluently than before.
and i didn't feel nervous that much.

i like this kind of way to join the class. the way in the class in america really changed me a lot especially my attitude toward the class.

8/21--google visit

actually, i've been waited for this chance to visit google company for a long time. and i was soooo lucky that my name was post in the visit list.

when we visited the google company, it was really what i heard from some magazines and news on tv. the welfare there is pretty good. no wonder the stff there work so hard to build such an internet kindom.

we also got many junkfood and cookies and beverage form the restaurant inside the buildings. it was ok because the food ther is free for us!!haha!!
i also learned a lot about the way that they operate this big company. it was such a whole new experience for me to know a worldwide company deeply. i really cherished this experience. and i strongly made up my mind to study hard to enter google company!

8/20--Lecture by professor Larry Diamond!

today, we had a special lecture by professor Larry Diamond. he is Georgina's professor at stanford university. today's topic was a lot about the democracy in asian country especially in korea and taiwan. the reason why he didn't talk a lot about japan is that he thought that japan has already been a well-democratic country.

before this lecture, he came back from taiwan a few days ago. so he talked a lot about taiwan's democracy. i learned a lot form him because he gave me some new conceptions about the democracy in taiwan. moreover, he compared the process of democracy between taiwan, korea and japan.

unfortunately, although the lecture was quite wonderful, peter tsai, a taiwanese fell asleep in the lecture.the following is the picture he slept
it was such a funny picture!! haha!!!

I can't believe it.....

I can't believe that i will leave ALC1 for Taiwan in 11 days.
now i'm crying while writing my journals in this blog. I really don't want to leave all ALC1 friends.......

time flies

i just write down my feeling here right now
i hope i will be better after i express my sad!

Don't talk about lovers in ALC1 please!

recently in ALC1, i heard someone talking about their boyfriends and girlfriends. this makes me sad. why they all have lovers, but i only have ex-girlfriend? oh, my god!every time they talk about their lovers, i feel depressed.

!!!!!My feelings about ALC1....

First, i have to say "thank you" to everyone in alc1. you are all very kind to me. i don't know why my mood changes so quietly in america. but when i'm in a bad mood, my friends in alc1 can play with me, can make fun of me, can say jokes to me....etc. moreover, i love all alc1's hosts so much. they are like my older sisters and old brothers. they always treat me as a family membership. i have no older sisters or older brothers, so i'm impressed by alc1's hosts, especially Georgina!!!
someone may want to know why i especially mention "Georgina". i can tell you that Georgina is my host and she is the best american that i've ever met!!!

time flies! i really hope to stay here forever with you guys.
we have only two weeks to get along with. i'll take well advantage of time here.

Thank you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8/15:Oakland A's baseball game

yesterday all alc students went to A's baseball field to watch a baseball game. i was so happy that i can watch A's ball game just because i'm a A's fan. i enjoyed the game so much. as a A's fan, of coure i hope A's win. fortunately, A's defeated white sox in 3:2. i was so lucky to see A's won!!
i hope i can visit oakland again and watch another baseball game!

8/4: day in San Francisco

this is the forth day in ALC1 program, i'm always feel tired ordinarily, but i don't feel tired today because we'll go to San Francisco for tour. all the alc1 program students were so happy to visit this famous city.
this is the second time i visit san fancisco. i will never forget the wonderful experience in SF. today, i wnet to golden gate bridge, golden gate park, and many other places. i felt so good to get along with my friends from japan and korea. they are all kind and considerate. i'm lucky to meet them in the U.S

so exciting!!

Next weekand, I'll go to the U.S for summer class in Stanford University.

I'm eager now to have a nice day in the U.S.

I'd like to learn much from this class.

As a NTU student in Taiwan, I must strengthen my ability to cope with

more and more difficulties. By this chance, I 'll take advantage every moment

of this summer class. Additionally, we can learn much about the way of thinking

in the U.S students and other Asia students from Japan and South Korea.

Oh~! Why I'm so lucky to attend this program!!

I wish everybody can have a nice trip this time.

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personal picture

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you can serch the following website:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pohan/

my first english blog

hello, everyone. this is my first english blog welcome to view my blog anytime!!